Love Stinks (film)

Love Stinks
Love Stinks
	Promotional poster
Directed by	Jeff Franklin
Written by	Jeff Franklin
Produced by	Adam J. Merims; Todd Hoffman
Starring	French Stewart; Bridgette Wilson; Tyra Banks; Steve Hytner; Bill Bellamy;
Cinematography	Uta Briesewitz
Edited by	Richard Candib
Music by	Bennett Salvay
Production; company	Prophet Entertainment
Distributed by	Independent Artists
Release date	September 10, 1999;
Running time	94 minutes
Country	United States
Language	English
Budget	$4 million
Box office	$2,924,635

Love Stinks is a 1999 American black comedy film written and directed by Jeff Franklin and starring French Stewart, Bridgette Wilson, Bill Bellamy and Tyra Banks.

Plot

Seth, a wealthy sitcom writer-producer with an Elvis fixation, meets Chelsea, an interior decorator, at his best friend Larry's wedding. He's sexually attracted to her while she's equally attracted to his wealth, charisma, and single-ness. They both ditch their wedding dates and start their own date that same night.

Advised by the bride Holly how she entrapped Larry into marriage, Chelsea tells Seth she has one rule: she won't have sex with a man until they have shared at least three meals. Seth proceeds to speed date through the evening so they actually do eat three meals. Serving Seth an ultimatum, Chelsea offers to sleep with him, but first demands complete exclusivity. Seth panics, but they are then seen having wild sex in the showroom of Chelsea's job.

Although they are a couple, Seth is pathologically terrified of marriage. Chelsea, in the other hand, is obsessed with getting married, while also short-tempered and manipulative.

She tells him she loves him after only four weeks. When Seth doesn't immediately reciprocate, Chelsea explodes and nearly ends things. Panicking again, Seth says he loves her. She then uses her beloved cat Gracie's disappearance as an excuse to move in with Seth, but Gracie reappears a few days later.

On a Valentine's Day getaway, Seth gives Chelsea jewelry when she expects a proposal. He insists it's far too early to consider getting married. An infuriated Chelsea disagrees, so Seth promises to propose in one year if things feel right.

Over the next year, Seth and Chelsea fight constantly, then reconcile with wild make-up sex. On Valentine's Day, Chelsea is expecting a proposal and is apoplectic when Seth gives her diamond earrings instead. As they've had a rocky year, he explains, proposing still doesn't feel right. Chelsea rants, raves, curses, ends their relationship, and throws the earrings into the Pacific Ocean.

Seth feels relieved until Chelsea files a palimony lawsuit and vows to take both his house and half of what he owns. Seth's lawyer warns him that breaking up with his girlfriend could cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Forcing him to share the house, Chelsea tortures Seth, who is allergic, by filling it with rescue cats and replaces his shampoo with hair removal cream. Seth retaliates by binge-eating beans and farting excessively. He then kidnaps Gracie, whom he uses to trick Chelsea into jumping over the edge of the Santa Monica Pier and into filthy ocean water.

They briefly come to an agreement, sealed with angry hate sex. However, her lawyer convinces Chelsea to renege and files a restraining order to force Seth to move out of the house.

Pushed to his breaking point, Seth kidnaps Chelsea and takes her to a planetarium. She assumes he's going to murder her, but instead he proposes. Chelsea refuses until he shows her the ring she had previously demanded and Chelsea radiantly accepts. He has the ring appraised, sells his house so they can start anew, and convinces Chelsea to marry him on the Las Vegas Strip, because no one in their families will attend after everything that's happened. He promises they'll renew their vows later with a big ceremony. In the airplane bathroom, Larry pleads with Seth to call it off, but the wedding goes forward anyway before an Elvis impersonator.

During their vows, however, Seth says, "I don't think so", and gleefully reveals that their engagement is a ploy. Chelsea dropped her lawsuit and moved out of his house, so she can no longer claim in court to live there. Seth further reveals that his dentist and his assistant posed as a married couple and purchased the house, which they will sell back to him, and that he bribed a jeweler to "appraise" Chelsea's glass engagement ring as a real diamond worth $50,000. A livid Chelsea grabs the chapel security guard's gun and shoots Seth, who is dancing triumphantly down the aisle, in the buttocks.

The Las Vegas Police Department arrests Chelsea and an ambulance takes Seth away as they scream and trade insults. Chelsea vows to sue him for breach of promise. Seth screams that Chelsea has "turned me off of women" and vows from now on to be "full-on Liberace gay". A sickened Larry and Holy conclude, “We need new friends.” As the ambulance drives away, a horrified Seth recants his coming out after being groped by a male paramedic. A newly single Chelsea tries in the squad car to propose marriage to the arresting officers, one of whom replies, "Lady, don't make me gag you."

Cast

French Stewart as Seth Winnick
Bridgette Wilson as Chelsea Turner
Bill Bellamy as Larry Garnett
Tyra Banks as Holly Garnett
Steve Hytner as Marty Mark
Jason Bateman as Jesse Travis
Tiffani-Amber Thiessen as Rebecca Melini
Montrose Hagins as Nana Beatrice Garnett
Ivana Miličević as Amber
Renata Scott as Mrs. Littlejohn
Warren Littlefield as Peter Bloomstein
Shanna Moakler as Tawny
Julia Schultz as Tiffany
Shae Marks as Jasmine
Colleen Camp as Monica Harris
John O'Hurley as Walter Drooz
Luis Ávalos as Judge
Dale Raoul as Colonic Nurse
Kevin Farley as Sheriff
Candy Richardz as Hotel Guest
Jeff Franklin as Hotel Clerk
Tom Gammill as Writer
Dyllan Christopher as Young Boy
Erika Eleniak as Gina, Jasmine's Friend (uncredited)

Reception

Critical reception

Upon its release, Love Stinks received negative reviews from critics. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an approval rating of 19% based on 47 reviews and an average rating of 3.46/10. The site's critical consensus reads, "This one-dimensional comedy with recycled laughs will have you holding your nose." On Metacritic, the film has a score of 23 out of 100, indicating "generally unfavorable reviews".