The Calcium Kid

The Calcium Kid
The Calcium Kid
	Promotional poster for the film
Directed by	Alex De Rakoff
Written by	Derek Boyle; Alex De Rakoff; Raymond Friel
Produced by	Natascha Wharton
Starring	Orlando Bloom; Michael Peña; Michael Lerner; Billie Piper; Mark Heap;
Cinematography	David M. Dunlap
Edited by	Mags Arnold; Jon Harris
Music by	The Boilerhouse Boys (Ben Wolff/Andy Dean)
Production; companies	StudioCanal; Working Title Films; WT2 Productions
Distributed by	Universal Pictures
Release date	30 April 2004;
Running time	89 minutes
Country	United Kingdom
Language	English
Box office	$109,202

The Calcium Kid is a British mockumentary comedy film which was released in 2004. It stars Orlando Bloom as a milkman and amateur boxer. Billie Piper and Michael Peña are also featured. It is directed by Alex De Rakoff and produced by Working Title Films.

Plot

Jimmy Connelly is a milkman who is thrust into the spotlight after a brutal fighter, Pete Wright, gets injured. Under manager Herbie Bush, Jimmy must fight the middleweight champion of the world, Jose Mendez.

Within the lead up to the fight with Mendez, Jimmy has to take part in a press conference, in which Bush recommends him to give Mendez fighting talk. However, this leads to Jimmy being seen as a fascist and a disgrace to England after being seen as racist.

After Jimmy realises the harm Bush has caused, he calls off the fight. As Bush and the training team look for Jimmy, they find him cleaning his old milk cart. In a negotiation to help the town in order to fight, Jimmy is persuaded to participate.

In the locker room, minutes before the fight, as Jimmy and his crew walk backstage, Wright holds a shotgun to them, whilst the camera crew is also held hostage, filming the event. Wright leads them to a room where Jimmy is forced to fight Mendez, who is also held hostage. After getting substantially battered by Mendez, Jimmy manages to fight back, but then Wright smacks his head with the gun. As Wright goes to shoot Mendez, who is praying for his life, Jimmy knocks out Wright with a single punch.

With the film crew recording the event, Jimmy becomes a hero across Britain.

Cast

Orlando Bloom as Jimmy Connelly
Michael Peña as José Mendez
Billie Piper as Angel
Rafe Spall as Stan Parlour
Tamer Hassan as Pete Wright
Omid Djalili as Herbie Bush
David Kelly as Paddy O'Flanagan
Mark Heap as Sebastian Gore-Brown
Michael Lerner as Artie Cohen
John Joyce as Jon Wright
Cathy Dunning as Joyce Wright
Frank Harper as Clive Connelly
Ronni Ancona as Pat Connelly
Peter Serafinowicz as Radio DJ

Reception

The film received negative reviews from critics. On Rotten Tomatoes it has a rare overall rating of 0% based on reviews from 5 critics, with an average rating of 3.9/10.^[2]

Peter Bradshaw of the Guardian gave it 1 out of 5, mentions that the due to success of The Lord of the Rings, Orlando Bloom "puts a lot of youthful buttocks on seats, and that demographic calculation can be the only reason for releasing this shamingly bad British comedy."^[3]

Variety said Bloom was "likable enough, but it's not a strong enough performance to anchor a one-joke movie" and praised the supporting actors, but was critical of the obviously scripted mockumentary for "the sheer unbelievability of the basic premise" and the "lack of sufficient invention in the script" saying it pales in comparison to soccer mockumentary, "Mike Bassett".^[4]

Empire gave it 2 out of 5, and said "none of the integral elements of the film - script, acting or direction - gel quite as well as they might, and what's left is an over-stylised advert for milk."^[5]