BDSM

Sex, nudity and acts of painful torture performed at public BDSM events, like the Folsom Street Fair in the United States, have been labeled as being against the law, even though the events are accepted by the local administration and police, and all acts are done with consent.^[1] Top: Demonstration of cock and ball torture on a nude man at the Folsom Street Fair. Bottom: Breast torture done on asphixya noir at the fair.

BDSM is an initialism for bondage/discipline (BD) and sadism/masochism (SM). It means some kinds of sex play. People have seen that they can get sexual stimulation by taking certain roles. Some of these roles are being dominant, and telling the other person what to do, or of being submissive, and being told what to do. Before they start, people agree that is what they want to do, so the activity is called consensual. Usually, they also agree on a safe word, or some behavior, which will make the other person stop. This is completely different from a sadist, who only gets pleasure from being sadistic or cruel to others. or from people only getting sexually aroused if they are hurt or humiliated. People involved in BDSM agree that's what they want to do.

BDSM is very varied, it includes tying or restraining one person, animal roleplay, and using tools to get arousal (for example: a dildo), which is called fetishism.

BDSM is about getting sexual pleasure out of things that are often painful or upsetting. People try to do this in a safe way by agreeing on a "safe word". If someone says this word the whole play stops. This is to stop the play from going too far and causing real physical or emotional hurt.^[2]

History

The term BDSM is first recorded in a Usenet post from 1991.^[3] The terms themselves are older, though. Heinrich Kaan (1816-1893) published a book called Psychopathia sexualis in 1843. Kaan was a medical doctor, and in his work, he looks at the sins listed in the Bible. He was the first to use the terms perversion, aberration and deviation in a medical context. In 1890, Richard von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) introduced the terms sadism and masochism. In 1905, Sigmund Freud wrote that sadism and masochism were due to errors in development of children. In 1913, Isidor Sadger first used the term "sado-masochism".

BDSM and safety

Engaging in BDSM is riskier than practicing sex without the BDSM elements (often called "vanilla sex"). People doing BDSM follow a number of rules. People engaging in BDSM derive pleasure from either inflicting or receiving pain. They also do not want to give the impression that sex and violence are linked.^[4]

Before people engage in BDSM, they usually talk about each of the partner's wishes and fears. They also talk about the things that they are going to do, and the order in which they are done.^[5] Such detailed conversations are common.^[6] As people get to know each other better, these conversations become more informal.^[7] In addition, participants usually agree on a safe word; with this safe word, the action has to stop immediately. Safe words are used to make sure BDSM is safe. Sometimes one person thinks the play is OK, but the other person does not. The person who does not think the play is OK will use a safe word or gesture. This means that the play must stop so nobody gets hurt or injured.

What is also seen as a way of safety, is that after the session, the "top" is caring for the "bottom". The actions may have released hormones, and it may take minutes to hours for the bottom to return to a normal state.^[7] It is seen as a duty of the top to care for the bottom in this phase. This also applies when sessions are interrupted.^[8]^[9]

Bondage and discipline

Bondage is the use of items like handcuffs, ropes or chains to keep a willing person from moving. Bondage often has to do with sex, but not always. Bondage is done because some people like the feeling of being not able to move while having sex. In this case, bondage sometimes has to do with BDSM, as often in the case of rope bondage and bondage of the female breasts. The letter "B" in BDSM stands for "bondage". Bondage may also be done just because people may like the feelings it creates.

Some couples include bondage as foreplay in their otherwise traditional sex lives at some time during their relationship. These bedroom bondage games are often with one partner willingly being restrained with rope or cuffs. Sometimes they can also be blindfolded or gagged.

Two women, one dominant and one submissive, play at bondage
Model demonstrating use of wrist and ankle cuffs in a hogtie
Bondage cuffs
A man, blindfolded and gagged
Collars are commonly used

Dominance and submission

Domination and submission is^[source?] a lifestyle. Often it is seen as a form of erotic play. Usually two people do this. With this lifestyle or context, one of the two people has the dominant role. He or she can tell the other (called submissive) to do things. The submissive has to obey. The roles are usually agreed on beforehand. The submission is voluntary. Sadomasochism may be seen as a variation of domination and submission. A person who might play either role is called a switch.

Hogtie bondage

Hogtie bondage is a form of bondage in which the limbs of a person are tied together. This make the person unable to move and helpless.

References

↑ "San Francisco's Folsom Street Fair Featured Public Whippings". CNS News. 29 September 2008. Archived from the original on 3 August 2017. Retrieved 3 July 2017.
↑ Bondage: what is it in BDSM culture
↑ "BDSM n. (in entry B, n.)". Oxford English Dictionary Online (draft ed.). Oxford University Press. June 2013. Archived from the original on 31 December 2015. Retrieved 29 November 2015.
↑ Meg Barker, Alessandra Iantaffi, Camel Gupta: Kinky clients, kinky counselling? The challenges and potentials of BDSM. In: Lindsey Moon (publisher): Feeling Queer or Queer Feelings: Radical Approaches to Counselling: Sex, Sexualities and Genders. Routledge, London 2007, ISBN 978-0-415-38521-3, pp 106–124
↑ Jill D. Weinberg: Consensual Violence. Univ of California Press, 2016, ISBN 978-0-520-29066-2 Negotiated Consent, pp. 54 ff.
↑ Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday: Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely. Daedalus Publishing Company 1996, ISBN 1-881943-12-7, pp. 80–94
↑ ^7.0 ^7.1 David M. Ortmann, Richard A. Sprott: Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2012, ISBN 978-1-4422-1735-5, pp. 38 ff.
↑ Jay Wiseman (1998). SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. CA: Greenery Press. p. 111. ISBN 0-9639763-8-9.
↑ Gavin Brown, Jason Lim, Kath Browne: Geographies of Sexualities: Theory, Practices and Politics. Ashgate Publishing, 2012, ISBN 978-0-7546-7852-6, p. 97.